I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
