If that was your dad, he is hot
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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