Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
