The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm really busy with my period
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