no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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