It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
