I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
