dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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