I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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