Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
