ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
