Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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