Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's shark week go big or go home
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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