It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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