Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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