Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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