found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
