her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
