im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
