She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
