I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
