This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
