he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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