He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
