Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just found a bag of teeth...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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