Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
