Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This is my gift to your gina
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
