You really coming over, don't trick.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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