I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i will never coherently bang her
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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