No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
