This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
