its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
