talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
