We won't sleep together?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You ruined the universe
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
