Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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