Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
