Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
