walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
not ubering you a puppy
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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