can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
