I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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