I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
