So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wish my penis had a tongue
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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