He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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