i think my tv is drunk
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
