My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
