the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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