There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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