all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
