Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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