I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
